Well, not a joke, really. From Furby stealing state secrets to Video Girl Barbie filming girls in their bedrooms and posting pictures to the Internet, to whatever horror a toy is going to inflict on children, toys have always been a source of horrified conspiracy.
The latest, and to my mind most ridiculous yet, is the notion that Labubu is Satan. Yes, you read that correctly. A fringe website has posited this theory citing an old Mesopotamian demon. The objective, these people add, is to combat the spiritual warfare being waged against children with “demonic energy.”
Oh, and just for good measure, they throw in a condemnation of Disney as well, noting all the hidden, satanic imagery that the animators so cleverly embedded in their childhood classics. SMGDH, as the kids say.
If you’re so inclined, you can see the website here, but I think the average third-grader could do a better job.
But here’s screenshot from the homepage, if you can’t be bothered…
Of course, this unidentified organization is trying to raise money through crowdfunding to buy up all the Labubu toys and destroy them, thus protecting children from potential demonic possession. As Mrs. Byrne (mom) used to say, “Some people have too much free time.”
I suppose that this is a tribute to the popularity of Labubu. You never see folks come out of the woodwork to vilify a toy that hasn’t gained some level of cultural traction. The toy industry has long been a “lightning rod” industry for this kind of reaction–always in the guise of protecting children. Just ask the Barbie team.
It always amuses me to think that there are people who believe (perhaps sincerely, perhaps opportunistically) that toymakers would set out to hurt or damage their customers.
For help in responding, we turned to ChatGPT. Here was the prompt: “Show me a Muppet-like character, so frustrated at the absurdity of the world that it facepalms.” Seems apt, and here it is:
Have a great week, everyone!
